A Politically incorrect guide for understanding how we got here.
Sidney Mazzi – 5 min read
The following commandments will help you understand what guides any human born as a mediocre, ignorant baby during the extraordinary journey of becoming a mediocre and ignorant adult — a Shallow Man.
- If someone misunderstands what I mean, it shall be their fault.
- If I misunderstand someone, it shall also be their fault.
I will not ‘suffer fools.’
2: Dealing with conflicting opinions
- I will ignore all conflicting information.
- I will avoid listening to views that clash with mine. People who question my opinion are just trying to confuse me.
If I can’t follow this rule, I shall instead refer to commandment #3.
3: Discussions: The hidden battle that only I can see
Discussions shall provide an opportunity to show who is in control, who wins. ‘Losing’ a debate is for weak people. To me, every conversation is a battle that I must win. And, best of all, I get better at winning every time.
4: Anger and nervousness
I shall make the most of both feelings to increase my rationality — they show that I am in control. I shall use anger and nervousness as often as I can and be proud of doing so.
5: Tone of voice
Whenever someone challenges me, I shall raise my voice because the louder I speak, the more convincing my argument seems.
6: Facts are for pussies!
When it comes to topics like vaccination, the shape of the Earth — even Darwin’s theory of evolution — to me, conspiracy theories and mystical beliefs shall make more sense than reason and facts. They also make me feel more intelligent than other people, and I like that.
I shall trust headlines from newspapers, or any other source, that match my point of view, and I shall refer to them to prove that I’m right.
7: Uncertainty is a disease
Ask me anything about relationships, work — even the meaning of life — I’ve got it sorted. I shall always have the answer, and there is no room for doubt. There is no middle ground; either someone agrees with me 100%, or they are part of the problem. And, of course, if they persist with their point of view, I won’t try to explain my opinion better; instead, I shall repeat the same explanation more loudly than before (commandment #5) and use labels such as “Communist” or “Fascist.”
8: Never underestimate the power of blame
To make me feel better about my problems, there is always someone or something to blame: enemies, friends, parents, partners, co-workers — even entire ethnic groups.
9: Denial is a wild card to use when there are no other options
No matter the situation, how absurd or wrong I am, I can ALWAYS use denial.
Whenever I don’t like the consequences, I shall deny the cause.
10: One Marshmallow — Always! (short term vs long term)
Long-term rewards are a fairy tale. I want them now! Regardless of whether I lean to the left or right of politics, I shall use short-term rewards in many situations: when discussing immigration, the minimum wage, employment law, price regulation ….
Later, when facing the long-term consequences, I shall use commandments #8 or #9.
Regardless of whether I sit to the left or right of politics:
1) People on ‘the other side’ are stupid and traitors.
2) Anyone from the other side who says or does something stupid should be treated as a general representative of their tribe and beliefs.
3) Anyone from ‘my side’ who says or does something stupid:
a. did so because they were provoked
b. is an isolated case
c. is a victim of ‘fake news.’
On the topic of what happens after death, I shall fall into one of two groups:
1) If I’m religious: “I believe that all other religions have ridiculous stories/explanations and are for weak people who can’t see the truth.” Followed by: “My religion makes perfect sense. I can’t see why anyone would challenge it.”
2) If I’m non-religious: “I believe that all religions have ridiculous stories/explanations and are for weak people who can’t see the truth.” Followed by: “All religious people think that someone will save them. They need this certainty and to believe in magical stuff. ‘God botherers’ think they are 100% sure of what happens after death. I am not like them; I am 100% sure that nothing happens after we die.”
Anything with the word consciousness or the expression emotional intelligence is for losers.
I believe that psychology is the only science that has failed to come up with anything useful in the past 100 years. And no, I haven’t read anything about psychology to challenge this belief. Why should I?
I don’t read books. Period. Anything with more than 140 characters is not well summarised. Heck, if the issue is complex, send out two Tweets, instead of one. And if the story were any good, surely there would be a movie about it.
My problems repeat because of anything BUT my stupidity and stubbornness.